FIC: Ayahuasca (Harry/Snape, Rated G)
Aug. 19th, 2014 05:04 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
elmyraemilie.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
hp_goldenageTitle: Ayahuasca
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elmyraemilie
Characters/Pairings: Harry/Severus
Rating: G
Word Count: ~1700
Content/Warning(s): None, unless you count marital strife
Summary: Restlessness; secretive behavior; and now a desire for separate vacations. Harry doesn't like what he's seeing.
A/N: Unbetaed. Slightly edited from the original, which was posted as part of the Snarry Summer Challenge 2014.
Severus still stirred the pasta sauce simmering on the stove, but Harry had stopped making his famous garlic bread. He stood, buttered knife in hand, sending a hard stare at the back of his spouse's head.
Into the tense silence, Harry dropped words like ice. "Why ask me about it? I can hardly stop you."
"No, you cannot. But you mistake my intention. I was not seeking your permission. I was merely telling you that I will go."
The butter knife hit the cutting board with a crack and bounced onto the floor. "Turn that off." Snape twisted around with an outraged look on his face. "Don't even try that on with me. Turn the damned stove off. We are going to have this out once and for all."
Snape snapped his wand at the stove to cut the flame and spun to face Harry. "I fail to see what there is to 'have out.' I desire to go on holiday alone this year. You do your share of solo travel. What is it that you find so irritating about me doing the same?"
"My solo travel is for work, as you well know. Stop trying to deflect the argument. There's been something eating you for the past six months. I have no idea what's going on, but I deserve to know. After thirty-two years of marriage, I will not have you simply slam the door in my face."
Snape's lips thinned until they were merely a crease in his jaw. "If anyone is slamming anything here, it is you. I wish to travel to Peru. I do not want company, neither yours nor anyone else's, as it is an excursion planned for benefit of my potions practice."
"You've made that clear enough. But what about all the sneaking around? You leave the house and don't even tell me you've left. I find out when I come to look for you and you aren't here. The way you snipe at our friends is ridiculous. Even Molly and Arthur! At dinner last weekend, you were actually rude. Hermione asked me what was up, and I couldn't answer her."
"Our friends. Our friends. It is greatly akin to being absorbed by some gigantic ginger amoeba. We are slaves to their habits, month in and month out--the same dinners, the same people, the same places. If I was rude to Arthur, it is because he has told that same story at that same dinner table over that same bloody leg of lamb at least fifty times in my memory."
"And you can listen to it again. It won't do you any harm. You're an adult, not some hormonal teenager."
Snape stalked two steps forward, bringing him just beyond reach of Harry's arms. "My point precisely. I am seventy-five years old. I have fought and killed in war. I have spied and been spied upon, and have survived attempted murder by the subhuman monster I served. Through some unthinkable mercy, I was given the chance to leave all that behind me. I married, started a business, fought my way into a life that is the very model of decorum, the deliberate opposite of my early years. Surely you see before you a man sufficiently tamed that his behavior should cause no concern."
He had seldom seen Snape so utterly furious. Furious at being questioned, furious at being cornered into talking; perhaps, thought Harry, furious at everything, including Harry himself. He laughed, a bitter, brittle sound. "Tamed? Oh, there's no danger of that. You get less and less civil as days go on."
"Very well," Snape growled. "I will not offend you further with my uncivil behavior. I will be in my lab. After that, I will have a bath, read one of two books in which I am interested, and then I will go to bed. That is my evening's itinerary, should you need to locate me." He strode out, robes billowing, and the door thumped shut behind him.
Harry looked at the door for a few seconds, then bent to pick up the knife. His back was bothering him a bit; they'd spent all of yesterday in the garden, cleaning it up after the first burst of spring, and he'd gone to bed exhausted.
Actually, he'd been pretty tired the night before that, and the previous night, Severus had been up tending a potion, so he didn't get to bed until well after four. Harry never slept well without Severus beside him, so it wasn't a good night for him either.
When had they last had a lazy day in bed? Or had a long conversation about something that wasn't related to social plans or the news? Decided on the spur of the moment to go see a play or visit a museum? He thought about what Severus said. With sudden clarity, Harry saw.
Usually, if they'd had a fight, he would carry a cup of tea out to the lab to talk it out. Instead, Harry put a stasis spell on the marinara sauce, finished spreading the garlic butter on the bread so it was oven-ready, and wrote a quick note that he anchored down on the table with the salt cellar. Then he Apparated.
XOXOX
It was quite late when they sat down to eat. Harry had returned to find Snape bathed, reading in his dressing gown by the French doors in the sitting room. A few straightforward words and the rumbling of their bellies enticed him to come to the table. The meal was quiet. Harry felt very strongly that he'd misjudged someone he should know inside and out. What Snape's thoughts were remained a mystery guarded by his silence.
Harry held up the wine bottle with raised brows. Snape nodded. "It is quite good. I don't think I've seen that label at our wine merchant's, though."
As he poured the last of the wine, garnet-red in the light of the candles, Harry replied, "No, I got this in Edinburgh."
The bait dangled there for a few seconds; then Snape took a sip from his glass and murmured, "Edinburgh?"
"Yeah. I was there this evening and I thought I'd get some wine for dinner. I hoped we'd be eating dinner, anyway." He mopped sauce from his plate with a piece of bread. "The library closed at six, and I passed this shop on the way to the Apparation point."
There was further silence. Severus was still smarting from their earlier words; probably more from having revealed himself in that burst of temper than from anything Harry had said. Finished with his bread, Harry sat back, glass in hand. "Ayahuasca is a fascinating drug. You know Muggles use it too?"
"If you're trying to insert yourself into my plans by an afternoon's research, think again." That hard expression was back on Snape's face.
Harry was ready. "No, not at all. You're quite right to do this on your own. I would have absolutely no interest in either the Peruvian jungle or the practice of the ayahuasqeros. Their magic is rumored to be completely foreign to our own--the whole thing is way out of my bailiwick." He leaned forward and laid a hand on Snape's arm. "But I wanted to understand what you were doing. You're a wizard in the prime of his life, and you should spend that life however you want. What I want is to be with you, from now until a hundred and fifty or beyond."
Snape frowned. "It has never been my intention to end our marriage. I did not make those vows lightly, and I would not break them over something so trivial as a holiday trip."
"No, I am certain of that. That's what confused me. That's why I was angry today. You've been pulling away from me. The things we share are getting to be fewer and fewer. When you just flat-out announced that you were leaving for two weeks and you didn't want me along, that was the last straw."
With his eyes on his glass, Severus said nothing. His forehead remained creased with that frown. Harry rubbed his arm, caressed the warm, ropey muscle under the silk of his dressing gown, and asked, "Severus, just tell me straight out. Are you bored?"
The frown dissolved into a rolling of the eyes. "Oh, stellar deduction. Of course I'm bored, dear idiot." He sighed and turned, putting a hand over Harry's. "I am not bored with you. Never that. You are constant, but not dull, and I...I love you to a ridiculous degree. Our life, though! It seems to me that what makes you happy is to have all the same, all the time. That comforts you and brings you security. But Harry, I am drowning in Weasleys, however kind and inclusive they may be, and we have sunk into the deepest of ruts. My potions repertoire has stagnated because I must brew product for the shelves. I have almost no opportunity for experimental work. The last time I took a risk, it was to change the color of the shop stationery."
In reply, Harry leaned over and kissed him. Then he pulled from his pocket a silver-plated fish fork. "Here you go. It's your international port-key, staged through Cuba. You had a choice between Miami and Cuba, and I thought Cuba would be better for the flavor of the trip."
He pressed it into Snape's hand. Snape stared at the fork for a long moment, then looked up. There was something in his eyes that Harry had not seen for a very long time: excitement.
"You need this, and I want you to have what you need. Send postcards, try not to piss off the shamans, and have a wonderful time. We'll get away together in the fall, maybe someplace with a Muggle amusement park. That'll be an adventure, too."
He rose from the table, sending their dishes to wash with a swish-flick-swish. In a casual voice, he said, "I was thinking, while I was waiting to get that port-key cleared: we have a very nice little balcony off our bedroom. I haven't been out there to do anything but sweep it for a while. Perhaps we might, ah, take the other bottle of wine up and see if you're still as flexible as you used to be?"
"Mr. Potter," Snape purred as he rose, "I remain quite flexible. The question is, have you the stamina to outlast me?"
Laughing, Harry dashed for the stairs.
(Dear Mods, may I have an author tag, please?)
Author:
elmyraemilieCharacters/Pairings: Harry/Severus
Rating: G
Word Count: ~1700
Content/Warning(s): None, unless you count marital strife
Summary: Restlessness; secretive behavior; and now a desire for separate vacations. Harry doesn't like what he's seeing.
A/N: Unbetaed. Slightly edited from the original, which was posted as part of the Snarry Summer Challenge 2014.
Severus still stirred the pasta sauce simmering on the stove, but Harry had stopped making his famous garlic bread. He stood, buttered knife in hand, sending a hard stare at the back of his spouse's head.
Into the tense silence, Harry dropped words like ice. "Why ask me about it? I can hardly stop you."
"No, you cannot. But you mistake my intention. I was not seeking your permission. I was merely telling you that I will go."
The butter knife hit the cutting board with a crack and bounced onto the floor. "Turn that off." Snape twisted around with an outraged look on his face. "Don't even try that on with me. Turn the damned stove off. We are going to have this out once and for all."
Snape snapped his wand at the stove to cut the flame and spun to face Harry. "I fail to see what there is to 'have out.' I desire to go on holiday alone this year. You do your share of solo travel. What is it that you find so irritating about me doing the same?"
"My solo travel is for work, as you well know. Stop trying to deflect the argument. There's been something eating you for the past six months. I have no idea what's going on, but I deserve to know. After thirty-two years of marriage, I will not have you simply slam the door in my face."
Snape's lips thinned until they were merely a crease in his jaw. "If anyone is slamming anything here, it is you. I wish to travel to Peru. I do not want company, neither yours nor anyone else's, as it is an excursion planned for benefit of my potions practice."
"You've made that clear enough. But what about all the sneaking around? You leave the house and don't even tell me you've left. I find out when I come to look for you and you aren't here. The way you snipe at our friends is ridiculous. Even Molly and Arthur! At dinner last weekend, you were actually rude. Hermione asked me what was up, and I couldn't answer her."
"Our friends. Our friends. It is greatly akin to being absorbed by some gigantic ginger amoeba. We are slaves to their habits, month in and month out--the same dinners, the same people, the same places. If I was rude to Arthur, it is because he has told that same story at that same dinner table over that same bloody leg of lamb at least fifty times in my memory."
"And you can listen to it again. It won't do you any harm. You're an adult, not some hormonal teenager."
Snape stalked two steps forward, bringing him just beyond reach of Harry's arms. "My point precisely. I am seventy-five years old. I have fought and killed in war. I have spied and been spied upon, and have survived attempted murder by the subhuman monster I served. Through some unthinkable mercy, I was given the chance to leave all that behind me. I married, started a business, fought my way into a life that is the very model of decorum, the deliberate opposite of my early years. Surely you see before you a man sufficiently tamed that his behavior should cause no concern."
He had seldom seen Snape so utterly furious. Furious at being questioned, furious at being cornered into talking; perhaps, thought Harry, furious at everything, including Harry himself. He laughed, a bitter, brittle sound. "Tamed? Oh, there's no danger of that. You get less and less civil as days go on."
"Very well," Snape growled. "I will not offend you further with my uncivil behavior. I will be in my lab. After that, I will have a bath, read one of two books in which I am interested, and then I will go to bed. That is my evening's itinerary, should you need to locate me." He strode out, robes billowing, and the door thumped shut behind him.
Harry looked at the door for a few seconds, then bent to pick up the knife. His back was bothering him a bit; they'd spent all of yesterday in the garden, cleaning it up after the first burst of spring, and he'd gone to bed exhausted.
Actually, he'd been pretty tired the night before that, and the previous night, Severus had been up tending a potion, so he didn't get to bed until well after four. Harry never slept well without Severus beside him, so it wasn't a good night for him either.
When had they last had a lazy day in bed? Or had a long conversation about something that wasn't related to social plans or the news? Decided on the spur of the moment to go see a play or visit a museum? He thought about what Severus said. With sudden clarity, Harry saw.
Usually, if they'd had a fight, he would carry a cup of tea out to the lab to talk it out. Instead, Harry put a stasis spell on the marinara sauce, finished spreading the garlic butter on the bread so it was oven-ready, and wrote a quick note that he anchored down on the table with the salt cellar. Then he Apparated.
XOXOX
It was quite late when they sat down to eat. Harry had returned to find Snape bathed, reading in his dressing gown by the French doors in the sitting room. A few straightforward words and the rumbling of their bellies enticed him to come to the table. The meal was quiet. Harry felt very strongly that he'd misjudged someone he should know inside and out. What Snape's thoughts were remained a mystery guarded by his silence.
Harry held up the wine bottle with raised brows. Snape nodded. "It is quite good. I don't think I've seen that label at our wine merchant's, though."
As he poured the last of the wine, garnet-red in the light of the candles, Harry replied, "No, I got this in Edinburgh."
The bait dangled there for a few seconds; then Snape took a sip from his glass and murmured, "Edinburgh?"
"Yeah. I was there this evening and I thought I'd get some wine for dinner. I hoped we'd be eating dinner, anyway." He mopped sauce from his plate with a piece of bread. "The library closed at six, and I passed this shop on the way to the Apparation point."
There was further silence. Severus was still smarting from their earlier words; probably more from having revealed himself in that burst of temper than from anything Harry had said. Finished with his bread, Harry sat back, glass in hand. "Ayahuasca is a fascinating drug. You know Muggles use it too?"
"If you're trying to insert yourself into my plans by an afternoon's research, think again." That hard expression was back on Snape's face.
Harry was ready. "No, not at all. You're quite right to do this on your own. I would have absolutely no interest in either the Peruvian jungle or the practice of the ayahuasqeros. Their magic is rumored to be completely foreign to our own--the whole thing is way out of my bailiwick." He leaned forward and laid a hand on Snape's arm. "But I wanted to understand what you were doing. You're a wizard in the prime of his life, and you should spend that life however you want. What I want is to be with you, from now until a hundred and fifty or beyond."
Snape frowned. "It has never been my intention to end our marriage. I did not make those vows lightly, and I would not break them over something so trivial as a holiday trip."
"No, I am certain of that. That's what confused me. That's why I was angry today. You've been pulling away from me. The things we share are getting to be fewer and fewer. When you just flat-out announced that you were leaving for two weeks and you didn't want me along, that was the last straw."
With his eyes on his glass, Severus said nothing. His forehead remained creased with that frown. Harry rubbed his arm, caressed the warm, ropey muscle under the silk of his dressing gown, and asked, "Severus, just tell me straight out. Are you bored?"
The frown dissolved into a rolling of the eyes. "Oh, stellar deduction. Of course I'm bored, dear idiot." He sighed and turned, putting a hand over Harry's. "I am not bored with you. Never that. You are constant, but not dull, and I...I love you to a ridiculous degree. Our life, though! It seems to me that what makes you happy is to have all the same, all the time. That comforts you and brings you security. But Harry, I am drowning in Weasleys, however kind and inclusive they may be, and we have sunk into the deepest of ruts. My potions repertoire has stagnated because I must brew product for the shelves. I have almost no opportunity for experimental work. The last time I took a risk, it was to change the color of the shop stationery."
In reply, Harry leaned over and kissed him. Then he pulled from his pocket a silver-plated fish fork. "Here you go. It's your international port-key, staged through Cuba. You had a choice between Miami and Cuba, and I thought Cuba would be better for the flavor of the trip."
He pressed it into Snape's hand. Snape stared at the fork for a long moment, then looked up. There was something in his eyes that Harry had not seen for a very long time: excitement.
"You need this, and I want you to have what you need. Send postcards, try not to piss off the shamans, and have a wonderful time. We'll get away together in the fall, maybe someplace with a Muggle amusement park. That'll be an adventure, too."
He rose from the table, sending their dishes to wash with a swish-flick-swish. In a casual voice, he said, "I was thinking, while I was waiting to get that port-key cleared: we have a very nice little balcony off our bedroom. I haven't been out there to do anything but sweep it for a while. Perhaps we might, ah, take the other bottle of wine up and see if you're still as flexible as you used to be?"
"Mr. Potter," Snape purred as he rose, "I remain quite flexible. The question is, have you the stamina to outlast me?"
Laughing, Harry dashed for the stairs.
(Dear Mods, may I have an author tag, please?)
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Date: 2014-08-20 02:18 am (UTC)It is greatly akin to being absorbed by some gigantic ginger amoeba
Ahaha! Perfect Snape line.
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Date: 2014-08-20 08:20 pm (UTC)Glad you like the story!
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Date: 2014-08-20 12:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-08-20 08:22 pm (UTC)Thanks! I'm happy the story gave you a smile.
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Date: 2015-01-03 07:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-01-03 01:32 pm (UTC)